Category: Love

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Yes — my ex boyfriend wanted me to get my boobs done. He said they are too small and too unaesthetic. He said it’s popular nowadays and there’s no shame to it. He said he would choose the ‘best type’ of boob job for me and would even pay the bill. I just have to show up. He said after I get them done, I’d be perfect.

Yes, I loved him a lot. And I still do. One of the reasons why I love him so much is because of his honesty/ directness. He is the most trust-worthy guy I’ve ever met (besides my dad) and I never had to worry/ rethink what he said because he speaks his mind. It may sound very blunt to you but I’m actually the same kind of people, only more empathetic while being ‘blunt’. 

‘Love the way you are’

That said, I actually understand why he said it to me. No matter how much you love your partner and how great he/ she is, there must be something about him/ her that you wish he/ she could change. It could be a habit, a pet phrase, or something about his/ her appearance. Of course, if someone truly loves you, he/ she should ‘love the way you are’. But that doesn’t mean he doesn’t want you to be better. Most people I know of want a handsome boyfriend/ a pretty girlfriend. And that is not a sin.

So when he asked if I wanted to do it, I was surprised, yes. But maybe because I know him well/ I’m also very ‘blunt’, I wasn’t pissed/ offended. I gave it a minute to ensure what I was about to say was what I wanted. Then I replied. I know my boobs aren’t big/ pretty. But I’m fine with them. Between going through all the procedures and pain, taking the risks and having to worry for a lifetime (I know the risks are really not that major nowadays), and not having pretty boobs and neither of the above, I choose the latter.

And then he kept trying to convince me by telling me different types of operations, how the type he liked is the ‘best’, how pretty/ perfect I’d be if I agreed and whatever he said next. I can’t remember anymore.

‘Who wants a rose must respect the thorn.’

Then the topic went quiet for a few days. 

Then he asked me again.

This time, I was pissed plus offended. Reason being, I had already made my stance clear and explained my reasons. If you respect me, you respect my decision and my choice, if not right, to do what I want. We had a small argument and then didn’t talk about it for a few other days.

THEN HE BROUGHT IT UP AGAIN.

And this time I told him, as long as there’s still any level of risks and pain, my stance is the same. If this is really something that bothers you, please look for that somewhere else as early as possible because I do not want to waste our time. 

And finally we never had to talk about it anymore.

I’m sure anyone who reads this story is gonna be pissed, just like all of my friends. And me. I was pissed. Now that we’ve broken up, I don’t really care anymore. My friends say he tried to change me. Yes, he did. But besides the outside, he was constantly giving me useful advice to improve my inside. Little by little I did improved. 

This topic is not the reason why we broke up. But it might be one of the reasons. Not because of the topic ‘plastic surgery’, but because he couldn’t give me the respect I want from the one person I’m the closest to and trust the most.

‘The easiest way to teach someone how to treat you is to refuse to give them more opportunities to hurt you’

My friends are glad that I ‘ditched’ a ‘bad guy’. But that’s not how I see it. 

Everyone has the right to want what he/ she wants and to pursue whatever that is. In a relationship, even when your partner didn’t cheat on you and nothing major happened, if you feel like this is not what you want, you totally have the right to leave. Leaving might be cruel. But forcing yourself to stay would be even crueler and disrespectful to both of you plus the relationship itself. 

It could hurt, both of you. You should however think about the long run. Do you see yourself being with this person for the rest of your life, or at least the coming 10/ 20 years and both of you being happy? If the answer is no, you know which way to go.

I’m thankful for all the memories we created together, and for everything he did for me. I also need to thank my bravery for leaving an unhealthy relationship. I am working to be a better person and I want the best for him, and all of you reading this article. 

I’d love to hear what you think! What is the craziest love story you have heard? Leave a comment below or reach me at barneyspaws@gmail.com

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